Weeks of madness, tears and stress...

I am trying so hard to be strong, not to cry a single tears for the whole week. But somehow today i lost to my emotions. I'm not as strong as i think i am. I still can't control my emotions. Does that make me weak? I cried early this morning because i got a test and i wasn't ready for it. I was busy finishing my assignment till morning. I slept at 3a.m. I set my clock so that i can study at 5,but i woke up at 6.30a.m and the test starts at 7. I was so tired and so stress. Never in my life have i felt so unready for a test before. I was frustrated and disappointed at some people because they did not wake me up to study. Argh, i'm so disappointed. Later, during class, I didn't understand a thing that the lecturer said. I don't know what to do. I want to tell someone bout it. I want to talk to my dad. I miss him so badly. But whenever I tried to call him, he was busy. I want to talk to him, wanna share all of my problems. Hmm... Next week will be pack. I don't know how to cope with it. Tests, quizes, presentations, reports... Hmm, I'm going to be crazy by the end of the week!

The uncertainty~

Hmm, it has been ages since the last time i updated my blog... I don't really know what to post... That's one of the reason... I'm currently happy with everything... Like others say "so far so good"... Heee (^^,)
As far as things go, there is this one thing that i am not quite happy about... My studies... I know it's too early to give up, it has just been a month... However, there is a complication. Somehow, this semester subjects is very challenging... I don't know whether i am the only one who thinks so... It became more challenging when you have a lecturer who wants to finish the syllabusss fast... Don't they know that i don't get what they are teaching... Some teach "acuh x acuh"... Damn... I'm so scared for this semester!!! Like seriously... I am!!! (T_T) God please help me... The other thing that i am scared of is PRACTICAL TRAINING!I'm afraid if I don't get a place for my practical... My CGPA is not as good as the others... Argh, help me...

Hatred!

I don't know why, but somehow I come to hate this one person. She's a close friend I guess. I can't explain the hatred I have towards her and how it became stronger each time. She's not a bad person, I know that but it is because of her attitude that makes me crazy. I shouldn't feel this way because it's not right. She's my friend for god sake. Nobody's perfect right? So I should have just ignore it. Hmm, why do I have this feeling? I hate it. There is something wrong with me. I feel like there is darkness inside of me. Nowadays I often stress out of something stupid, I become lazier than ever, I refuse to do any work, I often get mad that makes me feel like I want to hit or kill somebody. Shit!!! What is wrong with you ATIQAH??? Get a grip! Oh god, help me!

The most boring sem break ever!!!

This holidy is the worst i ever had!!!
No money, no car, nothing to do, no where to go...
Argh, I never thought that it would turn out this way...
My MP4 is broken...
What else???
So tired of it all...
Stress out...
I don't know what to do...
Arghhhh, what a life~

Think before you do...

It hurts. Your attitude is just unacceptable...
No matter how much we fight, it has never get serious...
We both curse at each other...
That I can understand... We say something that we didn't mean...
But this is serious. You broke my heart when you say "aku harap ko tdo bwat selame2nye". Better watch out, you might get it... Old people say "kata2 itu adalah doa". Thank you so much for everything... If your wish comes true, I would like to say congratulation to you in advance my dear...

Finals~ unexpected surprise!!!

First of all I would like to say that I'm quite relax this sem compare to last semester because the subject isn't as hard as last sem. So most of my carry mark is above average. I was so glad and hoping to get deans list diz sem. However, never would i imagine that the final exam paper was as hard as this. I've gone through most of the past sem paper and I swear to god that I can answer all of it from the calculation part to the theory part. I was so frustrated because, I don't think I could achieve my target. Hmmm, I was so confident at first that I can get A's for most of the subject,unfortunately I don't have it anymore since this final has bring so much surprises. My first paper was costing, it was so hard, I was so shocked that it was that hard, so I checked the code twice to make sure that was taking the right paper. How I wish I was wrong. Damn it... Its the right code! I cried later that day knowing that its going to be tough for me to get an A for that subject. I was so down... So, I try to think positive. I try to cover up my mistakes at costing by studying hard for the next paper which is account. The lecturer said it was easy, most of our senior got an a for that subject and no one have fail for that paper before. True, I look through the past sem paper and the exercises that our lecturer has given us, it was easy I tell you!!! But by the time i sit for the paper, ****!!! I think you can guess what happen and how was the paper... Hmm, now what??? When i finished answering and the "pengawas" has collect the paper, I look at my friend who was sitting next to me, at first I wanted to cry, but somehow when I saw his face all i can do is laugh! Hahaha, he kinda got the highest carry mark among us, and he too admit that it was hard. So I feel a bit relief that i'm not the only one who can't answer it.

I hate the way you lie...

Just gonna stand there watch me burn,
no! Its not alright because i don't like the way it hurts...
Just gonna stand there hear me cry,
no! Its not alright because I hate the way you lie,
I HATE the way you LIE!!!